If your spouse cheats, even if your sex life seems to be okay, you may be confused. Why would he/she cheat if sex is not the issue? The surprising fact is that cheating is mostly not about sex.
There could be some other missing factor in your marriage that leads to infidelity. Let’s take a look at a common reason … Read the rest
A newlywed young Jewish woman; Bluma Zeigarnik sat in a café in Vienna and watched as professional waiters listened and took large orders from a good number of people without writing anything down. Then she watched as the waiters hurried from table to kitchen to table remembering everything the customers asked for.
However, when she interviewed the waiters after they … Read the rest
Often, the honeymoon phase comes to an end when the couple begins to become more aware of each other’s weaknesses.
This phase which I will like to refer to as ‘the disenchantment phase’, partners begin to get irritated by the very attribute about their partner that once attracted them. Quiet and patient begins to look more as ‘lily-livered’ slow—fun and … Read the rest
Ever so often, couples have quarrels or conflicts where they say mean things to each other, criticise each other and are defensive.
These words could hurt the partners and gradually destroy the relationship from within.
But successful couple know how dangerous these words said in anger can be and what exactly to do about it least it takes its toll … Read the rest
Over the last couple of weeks, I have been thinking a lot about foundations. Because of my work in the construction industry, I understand the critical role foundation plays.
Many factors come to play in the selection of the type of foundation some are; the bearing capacity (strength) of the soil on which the building will rest, the amount of … Read the rest
Very often the question of what qualities to look for in a prospective mate is asked, and answers range from as follows;
The person should be kind and loving to their family and yours
Friendly, good looking and can dress well, polite, honest and has a good reputation
For women; neat with excellent home-keeping qualities, respectful etc
For men; he … Read the rest
Growing up one of the recurring complaint my parents and siblings had about me was that I was
stubborn. For years I was ashamed of this part of myself, tried to push it aside, deny it, hide it
etc.
Coming in contact with Innocent Minds and the tools of NLP helped me reframe this trait and
embrace it.
When I … Read the rest
We conclude our study of the four communication patterns that lead to the demise of a relationship.
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STONEWALLING; This is shorting down in the middle of a conflict discussion and refusing to respond but
verbally and non-verbally. Predominantly, men are the users of this communication style, (about 85%).
Stone walling is different from taking … Read the rest
We continue our study of the four communication patterns that lead to the demise of a relationship, we
will be considering the third deadly communication pattern.
DEFENSIVENESS: Criticism and contempt often trigger a person to defend themselves against an attack.
People defend themselves when they feel attacked, they feel unjustly accused and may withdraw, act
like the innocent victim or … Read the rest
We continue our study of the four communication patterns that lead to the demise of a relationship, we
have discussed criticism.
CONTEMPT: Contempt is like taking criticism to a whole new level, it expresses a feeling of dislike
towards somebody, it implies that the other person is worthless or undeserving of respect.
The contemptuous partner puts themselves in a more … Read the rest