COMMON REASON PEOPLE CHEAT 2

Last week we talked about the loss of bond as one of the reasons people cheat.

But you may have seen or heard of couples that are happy and yet one partner strays. The revelation of such affairs can be hurtful to the betrayed partner, sometimes leading to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The reasons people could cheat despite being happy … Read the rest

COMMON REASONS PEOPLE CHEAT 1

 If your spouse cheats, even if your sex life seems to be okay, you may be confused. Why would he/she cheat if sex is not the issue? The surprising fact is that cheating is mostly not about sex.

There could be some other missing factor in your marriage that leads to infidelity. Let’s take a look at a common reason … Read the rest

THE ZEIGARNIK EFFECT

A newlywed young Jewish woman; Bluma Zeigarnik sat in a café in Vienna and watched as professional waiters listened and took large orders from a good number of people without writing anything down. Then she watched as the waiters hurried from table to kitchen to table remembering everything the customers asked for.

However, when she interviewed the waiters after they … Read the rest

AFTER THE HONEYMOON

Often, the honeymoon phase comes to an end when the couple begins to become more aware of each other’s weaknesses.

This phase which I will like to refer to as ‘the disenchantment phase’, partners begin to get irritated by the very attribute about their partner that once attracted them. Quiet and patient begins to look more as ‘lily-livered’ slow—fun and … Read the rest

PARENT-CHILD CONTROL DRAMA

My earlier days with getting my daughter prepared for school and dressed for the cold often went something like this;

Me; Eta the weather is cold, wear your cardigan

Eta; I am not feeling cold, I don’t need the cardigan

Me; please take your cardigan

Eta; No

Me; You are not leaving this house without if you are not wearing … Read the rest

GRIDLOCKED CONFLICTS

Do you and your partner have issues of which you have not been able to find a compromise?

Does it feel like talking makes the situation worse?

Does this conflict make you feel rejected by your partner?

When you talk about it tempers flare, and you both end up hurting each other.

Have you noticed that over time you have … Read the rest

ARE YOU THERE FOR ME?

During the holidays as part of our intimacy building activities, my husband and I spent some time discussing our differences and how it has impacted our relationship both positively and negatively.

The exercise reminded us of how different we both are, and yet these differences hadn’t driven us apart. Most of our difference had never featured in our conflicts. I … Read the rest

CAN WE TALK LIKE ADULTS?

The second reason people may have a challenge handling their conflict is their conflict resolution styles. There are three kinds of conflict resolution styles; the fighter, the avoider, and the resolver.

THE FIGHTER: The fighter is that person who would generally have a screaming match. They say what they feel like they feel it, and may or may not use … Read the rest

THIS IS WHO I AM (1)

Michael has been experiencing a lot of self-doubts recently, before his marriage everyone in the small congregation he pastors believed that the woman that would marry him would be a fortunate lady because of his warmth and loving personality.

He was so confident that he had what it took to make any woman happy, but after six months of marriage, … Read the rest