Growing up one of the recurring complaint my parents and siblings had about me was that I was
stubborn. For years I was ashamed of this part of myself, tried to push it aside, deny it, hide it
Coming in contact with Innocent Minds and the tools of NLP helped me reframe this trait and
embrace it.
When I asked myself the question of how this seemly negative trait had been beneficial to me in
the past, I was astonished to find that it was a key ingredient in the many successes I had
recorded. There are things I had accomplished that would not have been accomplished without
the ability to stay on course even when it seemed unattainable, situations I had confronted that
needed guts to do so.
Of course, I also discovered things I had lost as a result of holding to my opinion without
accepting guidance, times I have drained my energy because I didn’t know when to quit or let
I reframed ‘stubborn’ to ‘strong willed’, ‘staying power’, ‘tenacity’ etc. and only by accepting this
part of myself have I reaped the most reward from it.
First by accepting this part of myself I have been able to consciously increase the
benefits/advantages of is trait and work on reducing the negative aspects.
‘The first step to real and lasting change is acceptance’

I find that it is easier for me to accept other people’s limitations/weaknesses and idiosyncrasies
because I have been able to accept mine, as a result my relationship with my husband, children
and others has greatly improved.
‘We are only able to accept others to the degree with which we accept ourselves’
This is so profound, studies show that parents awareness of their children’s sadness or angry
corelates with the parents’ awareness of these emotions in themselves.
Whether or not a parent permits and coaches their children in handling these emotions reflects
the ability or inability of the parent to accept and healthily manage these emotions themselves.
We cannot give what we do not have. The best gift we can give to the people that mean the
most to us is the gift of acceptance then we will be loving like the Creator, it starts with loving
and accepting the self

Nancy Oblete

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